Fanmail: In the end, the Rebel Alliance wins.

You lose, suckas.

This one’s a keeper:

Subject Line: Your side will lose.

Young lady,

It is shrill little twerps like yourself that make me so unwilling to give a single inch. Every time someone like you opens their yap about how unfair life is when you are breaking the law, I am reminded of how much I want every last illegal sent back with one suitcase and a bus ticket since it would change your facebook status to a frowny face.

And it has been done before. We CAN do mass deportation:

http://www.csmonitor.com/2006/0706/p09s01-coop.html

I am CCing Senator Sessions with the link to your highly thought out response.

http://www.dreamactivist.org/blog/2010/11/24/dumb-response-sessions-memo/

Bottom line. Keep your uninformed opinions until you turn 35 and have a stake in the game.

Captain Mike, an.officer.of.the.empire@gmail.com [Flavia’s note: this is not a joke. This is how he signs off, and this is his email]

And the pithy response:

Dear Captain Mike, Officer of the Empire,

Thank you for your reasoned response and compassion for other human beings.  I will be sure to include your information in our petition.  Thanks for the support!

Oh, and by the way, I’m a taxpaying citizen and my parents emigrated legally… and guess what, I still want others to have a path to legalization!

Cheers, have a lovely day.

P.S. In the end, the Rebel Alliance wins. I’m just saying.

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7 thoughts on “Fanmail: In the end, the Rebel Alliance wins.

  1. There are a lot of difficult calls to be made when it comes to economic growth and immigration. But this isn’t one of them. We need more educated workers, more enlistees and fewer people living in the shadows and contributing less than they otherwise could. The DREAM Act helps on all fronts.

  2. Rebel alliance not only wins, it kicks ass. AND not to get too nerdy here, but after the movies, we find out that the alliance(now called the new republic) teams up with the remnants of the empire to fight a greater threat. foreshadowing?

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